WHAT IF HE’S NOT LYING

WHAT IF HE'S NOT LYING arribaby12 ❝Bianca Jackson has had her fair share of men growing up on the north side of Detroit. She moves to Atlanta with her ex Damian but it doesn't work out. She tries to make a legit living when she starts working for a corporate office. But when she starts falling for her new boss she can't help herself. The sad thing is her new boss is married. There is nothing that will stop Bianca from being with him. Not even his wife. Kyle Williams was the perfect guy. He grew up on the north side of Atlanta so he knew the game. Even with a troubled past, he made it out the ghetto. Stated his own company and met his wife Tiffany. Kyle loved his wife and never cheated. He was a great boss and treated everyone fairly. Everyone loved him. So when the need for a new assistant came along he never thought things would go the way they do.....❞ [OVERALL RATING] 2.5 STAR BOOK STRONG POINTS "The story was interesting as a concept." "Dialogue is fair. " "Book is actually completed." "If given more time and energy she can definitely strengthen her plot (it is an interesting book in a way) and her characters." "The pictures at top matches with your chapters. The characters are developed well." WEAK POINTS "Its badly written with no character building and poor layout. The story is a bit cliched." "Grammar needs to be fixed, the plot should be tweaked a little, and a little more detail describing your characters and environment." "Grammar, POV changes, Cliche Plot" "The book description gives away the story and everything is predictable thus it's overall cliche. The author writes in different perceptions (person) which is confusing. ." "The grammar could be better as well as the plot. You could also give more details and try to make your chapters similar lengths." "Her detailing & her grammar was way off. Her description was just there.  Just flat. There was no connection or interest in the characters at all. " STORY PROGRESSION RATING 2.5 The plot is a bit cliché and not in a particularly good way. It is predictable and bit overused. However, if you throw some plot twists in there, it can get a better rating. DIALOGUE RATING 2 The dialogue wasn't too bad but it wasn't giving a lot of room to imagine the characters actually saying it. Try giving each of your characters a unique characteristic so that we can identify with who is talking almost immediately. The story could also use a bit of humor to liven it up. DETAIL RATING 1.5 Try describing the settings, characters, and using descriptive language. It is currently hard to picture what is going on so it would also help you to describe actions better. CHARACTER RATING 3.5 The characters are easy to adapt to and can definitely be built on. With a bit more work, the characters can develop into people that can capture multiple different readers. ADDITIONAL COMMENTS "I'd look at the story again and really take the time to develop it." "There's nothing completely wrong with your book, however, you need to go back and edit it asap." "Take your time when writing and one-man your story so that it turns out better. Have a friend or someone you know edit your story." "She needs to improve on her writing style and the whole story from detailing to grammar to the description."